Farm Life as a Whole - According to Me 1/4/2009

Living in the city - any of them I've lived in - I found it hard to make friends. I don't really think I was that unusual. Except for my friend Patty, who is a profoundly great friend to numerous people and extended family members, there have never been really close women friends in my life.

When Patty decided I was friend material she brought that special element into my life - a good woman friend. She's one of those people you can bounce crazy ideas off of and know, whether she says it or not, exactly what she thinks. She has been a great reality check for me through some pretty difficult years. I've enjoyed and still enjoy her friendship.

Here in on the farm, both Joe and I worried whether or not we would make the kind of friends we needed. People who could give us advice, helps us find our way around town and suppliers and be there when something goes wrong that we don't know how to fix. Farming is not quite like being a homeowner. There are a few more buildings, a few more pieces of equipment and a new set of problems that can happen here on the farm.

All the books I read about farming assured me we would be just fine. Our neighbors would become friends and we would find people who had shared interest who would become friends. Not just acquaintances, but friends.

Those books weren't wrong.

This Christmas every single neighbor on our street made sure they let us know they were glad that we're here. One neighbor left a beautiful handmade wreath on our door, another brought over goodies and sparkling cider, two more brought baked goods on beautiful plates that we were told to keep. When the snow came it took only one afternoon when we could finally get our truck out before the neighbor up the road surprised us by clearing our driveway with his tractor while we were gone. What a blessing. He'd been taking care of the private road we lived on every day since the snow started piling up looking for nothing more than a wave when he tractored by.

The woman who was our son's temporary homeschool teacher is now a friend. We go shopping for goats together. I rejoice in her good purchases and she comes over to see mine. We are buying our goat supplies together. Her son's Christmas presents - two lovely mares - are stabled in our barn and in him we've gained an unpaid hired hand ready to do whatever we need help nwith so the mares can stay there. They've also offered to share their hay crop next year to help care for whatever animals we may have. They are grateful for our help, we are grateful for theirs.

The lady who bought our heifer, Wendy, from us now teaches me how to spin wool. We've been to visit her farm and she comes to visit ours often. She is such a wonderful lady and a real help with my new spinning efforts. She also raises goats and cattle so we have lots to talk about. She also hooked me up with her cleaning lady so that twice a month I get a little help around the house.

Today we bought a third boer doe from a couple on a farm in Ethel, about a twenty minute drive from our farm, I get the feeling they will be friends, too. While we visited with them we found out that she actually bought the prized boer buck I had hoped to buy for our farm. I was thrilled for her. She'll make good use of that buck with all the does she has. She has also agreed that I can come see him when he arrives and his services will be available to my does should I desire it. That's nice. No, that's more than nice.

I'm also part of a great writing critique group. All of them have lived in small country towns for years. Most of htem have farms of various sizes and have livestock or small animals. They are fun, supportive and writerly wise. I feel really blessed to have been accepted into their small group.

Honestly, there is something special about people who make their living raising animals. People who care for and love them. Those people seem to have a great capacity for being good friends, too. Maybe finding freinds in the country is easier because we often share many common interests just because we are here in the country living very similar lives. Lives that aren't too busy to make time for some goat shopping, fiber spinning, canning and visiting over the fence.

Now the big challenge is learning to be a good friend back. Next year I am so going to be ready with the neighbor gifts at Christmas. If I make any kind of resolution for 2009, its learning how to be a good friend to these people who are becoming good friends to me. It seems to be another step towards becoming a country lady myself. It's part of the life.